Trump is President

So it’s really not a dream. If my dad is still alive right now, God knows what he’ll say.

I think it won’t be a really big deal. Maybe he won’t be as bad as everybody thought he would be, maybe he’ll prove us wrong. That’s definitely a plus having him perform above par. On the other hand maybe he’ll wreck everything and people will start a movement to oust him. It can be good too, for the greater good, for the long haul.

What doesn’t feel good is being in this state right now, on the edge of uncertainty. Everyone’s on their toes worrying about what’s going to happen, imagining the worst.

Either way, let’s not hope for him to suck (although it’s sort of expected), because it won’t be a win for anybody. Do voice out the concerns to ensure you got heard, what he said during his campaign isn’t set in stone. There are still a lot of way to make lemonade out of these lemons.

By the way, we have one thing to thank Trump for after a few days of him being in office. He’s the reason behind the recent women’s march and hells yeah, the march gave us some good giggles from the awesome signs. So thanks Trump for the signs, and please do hear them out.

This is one of my fave.


from twitter account @mbloudoff

Hear hear.


Procrastinating Going to Bed

Here I am late at night according to my new internal clock, looking at other people’s life on facebook, slightly jealous of how happy they all are. But then again, social media is always just the tip of the iceberg. God knows what lies beneath, everyone has their baggage.

Unless they don’t have any baggage. In that case, I am truly jealous and fml lol.

Anyhoo, the quality of lunch at the new office is deteriorating, and it’s not even the end of week 2! Aside from that, the commuter line has been such an asshole these past two days, I got held back more frequently. There goes another 20 minutes of my time spent commuting. This commuting thing is starting to get on my nerves.


Rock on, and let’s off to bed.

Moving To The New Office

Now playing, the “Deep Focus” playlist in Spotify. Can I just say, in Gina Linetti’s word, “Oh Dang!”. This is some on point deep focus shit!

Ok back to what I was intending to talk about initially today, my office just recently moved. It’s now located in the suburbs, 35 km away from where I live. The surroundings are quite nice, it’s properly organized but in the other hand it’s lacking character. I know, sounds vague, no? I don’t even know how to put it in words. In simple words, I don’t sympathize with it. I don’t know how one can sympathize with a town, but it’s just how I feel. I don’t relate.

Maybe it’s partly because I haven’t had any amazingly great food there. We all know love starts at the stomach (sort of). Maybe because it’s lacking cheap questionable street food. Or maybe because I don’t see people there as living souls. I see them as employees and workers getting on with their day. Wait, this is getting even more vague.

On another note, people say my office belongs to the list of cool workplaces. It’s got open space, a big grand stair (which people rarely walk on), and a somewhat futuristic look. I’m not feeling it though. Not yet, probably. I’m too bitter from the 90-120 minute commute.

By the way that’s it for today. I do wish more quality journaling will come soon.

Opinions and I

I used to have a lot of opinions about everything. Like, literally anything. Now I have realized that I don’t anymore. I’m more of an observer in big social groups. I don’t question much about everything. I am even losing ability to write long sentences.

I’m afraid I’m becoming an adult molded by society who doesn’t have a soul, who doesn’t question anything anymore and just get on with life without going to a direction of change.

That’s why I decide that I will start writing everyday, about anything. Anything to combat the fear.

Bidding Adieu to 2016

I have very mixed feelings about 2016. It’s a year full of highs and lows. Well every year is, but this year my lows are extremely low, which I didn’t see coming at all. In the other hand, if I focus on the plus side, it’s not bad at all! It’s a year full of new experiences. So without further ado, let’s see the highlights, shall we?

I visited Manila to watch an e-Sports competition. So yes I traveled 1700 miles to see people playing video games. Sounds kind of crazy when I thought about it at first, but apparently, it’s really a thing! It’s a huge deal, as a matter of fact. The event was held at the Mall of Asia arena, which is huuuuuge and the place was packed. The crowd was amazingly excited about it, and I watched with confusion asking Panji lots of stupid questions about the basics of the game lol. Nevertheless I had lots of fun in Manila, the people were very nice and friendly, I had a very nice meal at Casa Roces across Malacanang, a great lounging at the Park, a nice stroll around Intramuros (although I was ripped off by a nice pedicab driver), and a ridiculous photo to end the trip.


Not long after the trip to Manila, I was off to Phuket! Initially, I was not planned to be part of the trip, but due to an unfortunate series of events, I just had to. It was sort of a runaway from reality trip. I genuinely had a good time in Phuket, from just chilling on the beach, eating marvelous Tom Kha @ Malin Plaza, swimming inside a secret lagoon in Treasure Island, floating at the beach eating Watermelon in Koh Lawa ( I really recommend joining the Simba Sea Trips to explore the amazing Phang Nga Bay), dancing awkwardly with a drunken russian dude at Tao, to having my bones cracked (jk) from a Thai Massage. The people were warm, the beaches were nice, the food was great, and I truly cannot wait to be back!

I also had a trip to Europe (UK, France, Netherlands), which was an awesome experience which deserve a post on its own. Also I got to watch some really great shows live such as The Fratellis in Manchester, Macklemore @ We The Fest, Koes Plus and Copeland @ Kampoeng Jazz Festival in Bandung.

I’m very glad I used up all my leave days at work and exchanged it for some truly incredible experiences.

So goodbye 2016. Thanks for some of the best times of my life. Also for some really shitty punches to make me stronger.

So. Low.

I’m talking about life. Now has got to be one of the lowest point in mine.

Someone close to me made a life decision I can’t accept. I lost my respect for said person and my feelings are very conflicted. Bridges were burned, and I don’t even know if there will ever be a chance for a rebuilt.

Three doves, into the wild.

Glimpses of History

It has been more than 3 years since my father has passed away, and things are still hard.

A few days back, I was on my way home, sitting on the passenger seat with my mind wandering off wildly. I was thinking of a million things, one after another, that it was just like I wasn’t thinking of anything. I don’t know triggered me, but I started remembering this one particular memory of my dad.

I was in elementary school and my dad got us a new computer. He was also really eager to learn for himself, he started writing a lot in Microsoft Word, figuring out how to make indents (which he did with lots of spaces), and printing on envelopes. It wasn’t a special memory, and it didn’t have any emotion to it. It wasn’t happy, nor it was sad. It’s merely a piece of memory, which I was very glad to recall.

Then I had this realization. I had this fear that if I don’t keep remembering, I’m going to forget these little pieces of memory, until one day, I will barely remember him at all. I will forget how he talks, how he moves, how he smells, how once he was always around.

I. don’t. want. to. forget.

That’s why I’m writing this down. One day I’m going to re-read this and this memory will not be lost. Please, let me remember.

Inner Beauty

It’s almost midnight in the month of Ramadhan. I just finished cooking sambal ampela for Sahoor, without ati because ati is for wimps. Come to think of it, ati is liver, but I don’t know what to call ampela in English. Let me Google that for a minute.

Aaaand I’m back. Apparently it’s called gizzard. It’s a digestive organ found in several species to aid in digestion, kind of like a second stomach containing a second pair of teeth for extra grinding. I have been eating gizzards practically since I was born (kidding), but I never knew what it actually is until now. Blame Indonesia’s education system!

Ok back to the topic we were discussing, I just made sambal ampela. I took a picture of it for bragging purposes, and it looks like this.


I’m not a good photographer, but from any angle that just won’t look good although taste wise I think it’s pretty damn awesome (might be kind of biased though). It made me think about many other amazing Indonesian dishes like sate, sate padang, rendang, Siomay, gudeg and most of them are goopy or… turd-colored. Presentation is never a dealbreaker here. We just ain’t shallow about food. We care about what’s inside rather than what it looks like from the outside.

Too bad the same thing doesn’t apply to ACTUAL PEOPLE. Lol

Peace out ✌

March’s Long Weekend

Just had a long weekend which I definitely needed. The previous week I was in Bali for the whole weekend having a short vacay. I had fun but man, it was tiring. This long weekend was well deserved and I’m proud to say that it’s a pretty productive one!

How So?

  • Finished Orange is The New Black season 3. I got hooked a few weeks back and had been crazy about it ever since. Season 3 finale is not the kind that ends with a bang, but rather with a piece of mind. The lake scene is definitely one of my favorite throughout the whole series, I couldn’t help myself from smiling seeing the beloved characters catching a break. Season 2 is full of drama with all the Vee stuff, I’m glad in season 3 the characters can have fun (although maybe a little bit more drama wouldn’t hurt).


  • Sewed a blouse. I made a sleeveless tank from a flowery cotton fabric. It’s not my favorite among my stack of unused fabric, but I guess it’s just the best to waste. I finished the neckline and armhole with a bias tape, but apparently I’m still doing it wrong (stitching from the wrong side of the fabric instead of top-stitching). I find that the neckline kind of rolls towards the outside although I have clipped the extra fabric ends inside.Maybe I should iron the neckline for a tidier finish. Note to self!
  • I also mended an old blankie of mine. Hell, I think it’s almost as old as I am, 20 years old maybe! The fabric has become so thin, no wonder there were tears here and there. I’m really happy about my mending work though, as I just can’t let go of the blankie, at least not yet.
  • I also tried making dimsum on Saturday but failed miserably. I followed this recipe pretty accurately from rasamasa but it turned out mushy and tasteless, just EW. I was bummed because I made 24 pieces and I could only eat like 5 (which required a lot of struggling from my part). I had to dump the rest which was heartbreaking, I hate wasting food!

So that was it. I am glad I did what I did although I could have done more. I always could have done more. How about you though, any stories worth sharing?