Going Away

I’m going away soon, for a whole month. Away from boyfriend, friends, family, work, but not from reality. I’ve been having this conflict in my mind, and so far what I have done is distracting myself from the real predicament with work, or just succumbing to a pity party in my own mind. I want to go away to have a piece a mind, to have some time for myself to mature, reflect, and accept. With my own company, I hope I will be forced to really think about the harsh realities and how to manage it.

I would like some time to focus on myself and my well being, to fight my biggest enemy: my own thoughts and negativity.

Here’s to a new outlook on life. *fingers crossed*


A Cold Heart in A Cold Day

Today I was just finished with my training in Le Meridien Hotel in Sudirman, and I was waiting for my Uber to arrive. It was taking longer than expected. I just stood on the sidewalk with a recently won book in hand, reading to kill the time.

Many people passed by, and I grew suspicious of each and everyone of them. An old man then approached me slowly while still at a comfortable distance.

Old Man: “Miss, can you help me?”

I wasn’t thinking about it, but I shooked my head. Seconds later, I was surprised at my own reaction. He then left me to my own devices. I was stunned by my own cold-heartedness. I mean, he hadn’t even said what he needed help with and I just sent him away. I was surprised at the person I’ve become. Subconsciously, I automatically assumed he wanted to scam me which might be based on my own experiences in the past. Was he trying to scam me? Maybe. But I shouldn’t have declined without at least getting more information. Is Jakarta shedding my humanity?